October 11 - Michael Mancuso

On October 11, we gathered as somewhat of small class as opposed to our normally full class because today was senior skip day. Half assembled, we continued our work on our intertextuality essays. Some worked on outlines, some developed strong thesis statements and topic sentences, and many continued to type their essays. Additionally, nearing the due date, some of us started peer editing or even had Mr. Rivers review our papers. In my desk clump, Michael Loh, Annie Monroe, Chris Link, and I worked with each other swapping computers to review one another's papers. Chris and I swapped first and I read over his thesis statement and topic sentences. I thought they were very strong and resembled flawlessly the idea of developing a balance between clarity and specificity. I then traded with Michael Loh to review his paper. I thought his paper was well written and detailed but I made one suggestion; to vary his syntax and sentence structure to improve the flow of his writing. Then, I looked over Annie's outline, thesis statement, and topic sentences. I thought she had everything well organized and her thesis statement and topic sentences also displayed a good balance between clarity and specificity. Finally, I looked over my paper which the other three in my group had made suggestions for edits. I found that in some sentences I added too much detail which took away from the clarity of my sentences. I revised my sentences to regain that coveted balance, once more, or clarity and specificity. With the help from my classmates my essay on Captain Phillips is developing into what I think is a very strong paper. Overall, while today was a strange day, having only half the class present, it was a very productive day.